Successful relationships are built on solid
foundations. If you are ready to put in the work
that requires to love yourself and make grown-
up decisions, then here are 10 Simple
Principles for Having Amazing Relationships in
2014.
1. Be Happy and Loving on Purpose.
Happiness is a learned way of life, shares
Christian Counselor Keisha D. Hines in the
article Be Happy and Loving….on Purpose!
My mother taught me to enjoy life and love
hard. But more importantly, she exemplified it
by living a life of service and forgiveness.
That’s what separated me from my peers; I
learned how to love and be happy. Also, I
wanted to be happy and so I was. Happiness
wasn’t always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture
but a still calmness and a genuine appreciation
for life and people despite hardships. As stated
above, I was (and still am) happy on purpose.
2. Understanding Your Identity and Purpose is
Important
Understanding your identity and purpose is so
important before entertaining a serious
relationship says author Delano Squires in 5
Things Your Relationship Says About You.
It is extremely difficult to be in a relationship
with someone who doesn’t know, and isn’t
comfortable with, who they are. Understanding
what relationships—past, present, and future—
say about us is one of the best ways to
protect ourselves from getting into situations
that are clearly not in our best interest.
3. KNOW that You are a Winner
“Get to know who you are, so you aren’t
seeking validation from another person,” says
Dr. Michelle Johnson. In the article 6 Questions
From Single Women about Intimacy,
Relationships, and Prayer Dr. Michele answers
the question “How do I win at relationships?”
by saying:
There’s nothing worse than being in a
relationship with someone who sees
themselves as a loser. They mope around,
complain, and suck the life out of everybody
around them. On the other hand, a winner goes
into situations beforehand expecting victory.
Winners in life and winners in marriage expect
victory, but first and foremost, they make a
decision to do their work. Work with God, and
work on you!
4. Some Dating Advice Needs to Be Ignored!
“If you are, in fact, grown, there is some
relationship advice you should ignore,” says
author Kara Stevens in the article 6 Dating
Tips That Just Don’t Apply To “Grown” Folk.
She says:
But as grown folk, there are just some dating
tips that do not apply to you because you
know who you are, what you want out of life,
and what you want in a partner.
5. Marriage is Not the Cure
Marriage does not have super powers and
can’t take a struggling dating relationship and
transform it into a marriage made in heaven,
says relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-
Sumter in Marriage Is Not the Cure for a Bad
Dating Relationship
If a person drives us crazy when we’re just
dating, they’re probably going to drive us the
same kind of crazy once we marry. The
individual has to acknowledge their present
behavior isn’t benefiting the relationship. If
they are unable to do that, what makes one
recognize it in a marriage? I am a firm believer
that when people show us who they are, we
must believe them. People can and do change,
but they have to want to. We don’t have the
power to change them and neither will
marriage.
6. If You Want a Successful Relationship,
Design It
If you want a great relationship, then you
should put a plan in place for making it
happen, says author and relationship coach
Jay Hurt in How to Get What You Want by
Designing Your Relationship
Design means to plan or fashion artistically or
skillfully. We have a vision for what we want
and we plan around the intent toward that
vision. Relationships should be no different.
Designing a plan to have a successful
relationship, whether man or woman, just
makes good sense. Knowing your design of
what you want in a relationship puts you in a
mindset of being focused on what is important
to you and not being distracted by what might
not work for you.
7. Grown Women (or Men) Don’t Do Debt
“Debt is a curse and keeps you from living
your life free of fear, worry, and frustration”
says life coach Kara Stevens in Grown Women
Don’t Do Debt: 5 Baby Steps To Eliminate Debt.
Bottom line: we must confront our debt in
order to control it and ultimately eliminate it.
We must tackle our debt in order to feel and be
grown.
8. Don’t Put All of Your Cards on the Table Too
Soon
In dating, some information is on a need to
know basis, says relationship coach Tiya
Cunningham-Sumter in Singles: 10 Things You
Shouldn’t Reveal Right Away.
I had to learn that not everyone I dated was
worthy of me revealing my inner most secrets.
It wasn’t until I felt completely comfortable and
knew the relationship was going somewhere
that I truly shared.
9. Stay Focused on the Right Things
“Focus less on getting a relationship and more
on setting up the best relationship for us,” says
Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker,
and Author Stephan Labossiere in the article
Mandatory Prerequisites: 5 Keys To Starting A
Successful Relationship
Most truly desire a successful relationship, but
a good foundation has to be in place in order
for that to happen. I’m not talking success, as
in just staying together, because plenty of
people remain in unhealthy and toxic
relationships. I’m talking the success that
creates a loving, positive, and fulfilling
relationship in the way that all can appreciate.
10. Forgiveness Heals Your Mind, Body, and
Soul
Learn to embrace your healing and forgive,
says author Latoya Irving in 3 Ways
Forgiveness Heals You.
Forgiving someone does not say that what that
person did was OK. It means you no longer
allow it to hold you hostage. You have the right
to be angry and hurt; just don’t stay in that
place. Envision your forgiveness like a helium
balloon released in the air; once you let it go, it
never returns
http://
www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/01/
singles-10-simple-principles-for-having-
amazing-relationships-in-2014/
foundations. If you are ready to put in the work
that requires to love yourself and make grown-
up decisions, then here are 10 Simple
Principles for Having Amazing Relationships in
2014.
1. Be Happy and Loving on Purpose.
Happiness is a learned way of life, shares
Christian Counselor Keisha D. Hines in the
article Be Happy and Loving….on Purpose!
My mother taught me to enjoy life and love
hard. But more importantly, she exemplified it
by living a life of service and forgiveness.
That’s what separated me from my peers; I
learned how to love and be happy. Also, I
wanted to be happy and so I was. Happiness
wasn’t always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture
but a still calmness and a genuine appreciation
for life and people despite hardships. As stated
above, I was (and still am) happy on purpose.
2. Understanding Your Identity and Purpose is
Important
Understanding your identity and purpose is so
important before entertaining a serious
relationship says author Delano Squires in 5
Things Your Relationship Says About You.
It is extremely difficult to be in a relationship
with someone who doesn’t know, and isn’t
comfortable with, who they are. Understanding
what relationships—past, present, and future—
say about us is one of the best ways to
protect ourselves from getting into situations
that are clearly not in our best interest.
3. KNOW that You are a Winner
“Get to know who you are, so you aren’t
seeking validation from another person,” says
Dr. Michelle Johnson. In the article 6 Questions
From Single Women about Intimacy,
Relationships, and Prayer Dr. Michele answers
the question “How do I win at relationships?”
by saying:
There’s nothing worse than being in a
relationship with someone who sees
themselves as a loser. They mope around,
complain, and suck the life out of everybody
around them. On the other hand, a winner goes
into situations beforehand expecting victory.
Winners in life and winners in marriage expect
victory, but first and foremost, they make a
decision to do their work. Work with God, and
work on you!
4. Some Dating Advice Needs to Be Ignored!
“If you are, in fact, grown, there is some
relationship advice you should ignore,” says
author Kara Stevens in the article 6 Dating
Tips That Just Don’t Apply To “Grown” Folk.
She says:
But as grown folk, there are just some dating
tips that do not apply to you because you
know who you are, what you want out of life,
and what you want in a partner.
5. Marriage is Not the Cure
Marriage does not have super powers and
can’t take a struggling dating relationship and
transform it into a marriage made in heaven,
says relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-
Sumter in Marriage Is Not the Cure for a Bad
Dating Relationship
If a person drives us crazy when we’re just
dating, they’re probably going to drive us the
same kind of crazy once we marry. The
individual has to acknowledge their present
behavior isn’t benefiting the relationship. If
they are unable to do that, what makes one
recognize it in a marriage? I am a firm believer
that when people show us who they are, we
must believe them. People can and do change,
but they have to want to. We don’t have the
power to change them and neither will
marriage.
6. If You Want a Successful Relationship,
Design It
If you want a great relationship, then you
should put a plan in place for making it
happen, says author and relationship coach
Jay Hurt in How to Get What You Want by
Designing Your Relationship
Design means to plan or fashion artistically or
skillfully. We have a vision for what we want
and we plan around the intent toward that
vision. Relationships should be no different.
Designing a plan to have a successful
relationship, whether man or woman, just
makes good sense. Knowing your design of
what you want in a relationship puts you in a
mindset of being focused on what is important
to you and not being distracted by what might
not work for you.
7. Grown Women (or Men) Don’t Do Debt
“Debt is a curse and keeps you from living
your life free of fear, worry, and frustration”
says life coach Kara Stevens in Grown Women
Don’t Do Debt: 5 Baby Steps To Eliminate Debt.
Bottom line: we must confront our debt in
order to control it and ultimately eliminate it.
We must tackle our debt in order to feel and be
grown.
8. Don’t Put All of Your Cards on the Table Too
Soon
In dating, some information is on a need to
know basis, says relationship coach Tiya
Cunningham-Sumter in Singles: 10 Things You
Shouldn’t Reveal Right Away.
I had to learn that not everyone I dated was
worthy of me revealing my inner most secrets.
It wasn’t until I felt completely comfortable and
knew the relationship was going somewhere
that I truly shared.
9. Stay Focused on the Right Things
“Focus less on getting a relationship and more
on setting up the best relationship for us,” says
Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker,
and Author Stephan Labossiere in the article
Mandatory Prerequisites: 5 Keys To Starting A
Successful Relationship
Most truly desire a successful relationship, but
a good foundation has to be in place in order
for that to happen. I’m not talking success, as
in just staying together, because plenty of
people remain in unhealthy and toxic
relationships. I’m talking the success that
creates a loving, positive, and fulfilling
relationship in the way that all can appreciate.
10. Forgiveness Heals Your Mind, Body, and
Soul
Learn to embrace your healing and forgive,
says author Latoya Irving in 3 Ways
Forgiveness Heals You.
Forgiving someone does not say that what that
person did was OK. It means you no longer
allow it to hold you hostage. You have the right
to be angry and hurt; just don’t stay in that
place. Envision your forgiveness like a helium
balloon released in the air; once you let it go, it
never returns
http://
www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/01/
singles-10-simple-principles-for-having-
amazing-relationships-in-2014/
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