Dear Mr Bassey,
We wish to acknowledge receipt of your “Letter of
Apology” dated March 3rd, 2014. The letter could
not have come at a better time. We must confess
that we were impressed by your concern for your
fellow citizens. In case you do not know, your action
was what saved the day.
Like you correctly pointed out, we have not told
anybody that even a biro was missing not to talk of
$20billion. We are particularly glad that you have
been able to identify the culprits who deceived you
into towing that line of asking “nonsense” questions.
We suggest that from now on, whenever those
charlatans start talking about it again, you should
start singing Psquare’s song under your breath
“You must chop my money”, that way you will not
be able to hear what they are saying and getting
swayed in the process.
Mr Bassey, because we are impressed by your
humility, we have decided to take time out to explain
to you the $20b in question. First of all, NNPC is not
careless and so cannot just allow things in our
possession get missing. Secondly, we have the
state of the art security facility, so arm robbers did
not come in here to take the money. What we do in
NNPC is dispense (like an ATM) or spend money
and that applies to whatever amount, $20b, $48,
$100b etc. It does not matter the amount, we
simply do the “needful”
We expect that having felt our anger last week, you
will not start asking questions like “who did you
dispense to?” or “what did you spend it on?”
questions like this can quickly make our anger
resurface. We will also be very angry with you if
you start using “corner eye” to look at our “beautiful
aunty“ or at our oga that wears bowler hat or
making inciteful comments about them.
We have released some fuel for your use, while we
use the days ahead to watch if you will allow
yourself to be deceived again. Please prepare for
election next year and make sure you vote wisely.
Yours truly,
Mgt
We wish to acknowledge receipt of your “Letter of
Apology” dated March 3rd, 2014. The letter could
not have come at a better time. We must confess
that we were impressed by your concern for your
fellow citizens. In case you do not know, your action
was what saved the day.
Like you correctly pointed out, we have not told
anybody that even a biro was missing not to talk of
$20billion. We are particularly glad that you have
been able to identify the culprits who deceived you
into towing that line of asking “nonsense” questions.
We suggest that from now on, whenever those
charlatans start talking about it again, you should
start singing Psquare’s song under your breath
“You must chop my money”, that way you will not
be able to hear what they are saying and getting
swayed in the process.
Mr Bassey, because we are impressed by your
humility, we have decided to take time out to explain
to you the $20b in question. First of all, NNPC is not
careless and so cannot just allow things in our
possession get missing. Secondly, we have the
state of the art security facility, so arm robbers did
not come in here to take the money. What we do in
NNPC is dispense (like an ATM) or spend money
and that applies to whatever amount, $20b, $48,
$100b etc. It does not matter the amount, we
simply do the “needful”
We expect that having felt our anger last week, you
will not start asking questions like “who did you
dispense to?” or “what did you spend it on?”
questions like this can quickly make our anger
resurface. We will also be very angry with you if
you start using “corner eye” to look at our “beautiful
aunty“ or at our oga that wears bowler hat or
making inciteful comments about them.
We have released some fuel for your use, while we
use the days ahead to watch if you will allow
yourself to be deceived again. Please prepare for
election next year and make sure you vote wisely.
Yours truly,
Mgt
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